How to Cope with a New Quarantine

     How to beat the quarantine blues

         They say a new one is coming.

1.      Introduce indoor tackle football.

2.      Play “Rock, Scissors, Paper” with real rocks and scissors.

3.      Drano chugging contest.

4.      Floating craps game 24/7.

5.      Deep dish pizza every night

6.      Give birth at home for once.

7.      “Men won’t ask for directions and women hate math.” Let’s settle these stereotypes once and for all.

8.     “It’s that time of the month,” is a myth, no more complaining.

9.    No big deal if the toilet seat is left up.

10.  Let’s “go short”—whatever that is-- on the stock market.

11.  Invest our savings in NASCAR collectors’ plates.

12.  Men have more muscle so they can do all the cleaning.